copperandirony | (no subject)

You can't help but feel a pang of--something, as you push that dollar into the little red tin. The lady in the Santa hat pauses her bell-ringing for just a moment to thank you and wish you "Merry Christmas," and you smile and nod but you can't meet her eye. You swiftly turn and walk away, back to your own business, feeling an unpleasant mix of pride and shame, like two clashing flavors on your tongue. You had almost hesitated, as you gave that small amount; somehow you had been trained to feel like an idiot for the most minimal acts of generosity. Only an idiot opens up their wallet, falls for that "do-gooding" scam.

Now, this couldn't be less relevant to what you believe. Yet somehow, you feel conditioned to act that way.